It starts off with a single thought, a thought that "there's something wrong".
- Is there too much light? Is it too noisy? Am I suppossed to be here? -
Then
there's this feeling of danger, you get affraid apparently for no
reason, kind of paranoid, desperation starts to take over you and you
don't know what to do! That's when you realize that everything is in
your head and a sort of fight develops within you, it is you trying to
calm down versus your body that thinks you're in danger, then your chest
starts hurting and your breathing increases - hiperventilation - and
you feel like fainting but can't, the struggle is real, NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO YOU CAN'T CALM DOWN AT ALL!!!
Everything and everyone is a threat, THEY'RE UNTO YOU! THEY'RE UP TO GET YOU, HURT YOU, HUMILIATE YOU AND CAUSE YOU HARM!
The paranoia is real, you just want to get away from everything. And then the death thoughts kick in - FUCK! - even if for just a moment you think of death one way or another.
- Why am I thinking of this? This is wrong! -
You try to think that everything's fine, you repeat to yourself that
it's all in your mind but it's really hard to control yourself!
~ Sigh ~
It's
all a whirlwind until you finnally calm down and regain control of
yourself with tears in your eyes and pain in your chest.
This is what an anxiety attack felt like.